Excavating

The excavation continues as I look at things from this way and that. It isn’t just a mental thing, but a chronological order of understanding my own experiences and people revealing their own personal understanding of theirs.

A while ago I was addressing my fears and now, having stepped back a while I can see how inundated I was all my life, knowing I was not capable of much. I know very differently now and I reflect back on the times I was blind.

My most recent unvailing from within is how Ego entrapped my soul simply with it’s alluring mirroring effect. The same effect humans have on other humans denying any other forms of more intelligence. We reflect what we think we know…it soothes the soul.

Why does a means to an end find temporary peace? Because it is a break in our outwardly search? It allows us to forget what has a hold of us. Just the mere thought of having to pick up the pieces we left behind on our journey to a better feeling is exhausting and belittling. To think we are so intelligent we have overlooked the most important thing…trust of our knowledge of self…trust of learning through our own personal experience.  Just taking responsibility for our weaknesses and frailties regurgitates all those things we spend so much time hiding. Wouldn’t it be better to just bring everything to the surface so we won’t weight down the very essence of life itself!

Anyway, I continue to grow outloud and work at wearing my insides out. The unseen will always, if I let it, put the next brick in place. My job, of course, continues to be…getting out of my own way. Better put…to assimilate ego into offense (focus on outcome) instead of defense (trying to stop an outcome…better yet…to pull up the root of why…go home to who and become the what! I dare you!