Four Doors and Seven Years Ago

The four doors I am referring to are:

1.Judgement 2.Opinion 3.Criticism 4.Analyzation –

It was just about 7 years ago that circumstances in my life would force me to think for myself. I had a deep desire to communicate, however, I had decided as a very young adult to be subservient. I felt that was the only way to offer love (not physical love). I thought I was being loving by giving companionship. It definitely took a few relationships to realize it was not enough for me or anyone else for that matter.

As I began to think for myself, I felt compelled to be responsible and do whatever I told myself to do. In my uncontaminated way of reasoning, I learned to trust the brain Our Maker equipped us with. The family and friends I was surrounded with, however, were very critical and judgmental of my every move. My first impulse was to be critical and judgmental in return, only I knew it would take me down. I kept walking as everyone departed except for my neighbor down the street. Our creator gave me a friend indeed…so I spoke up and shared and thought with my brain all by myself…Why?…because I was allowed to. I remember how all the opinionators and judges threw stones..but I just kept walking. I hurt and yet understanding came easier as distance increased.

I learned that criticism, which some may call constructive, when it is done analytically…the two go hand in hand. Criticism is when a comparison is made and analyzation is done for understanding. These are just 4 doors, yet the 7 years I am referring to started yesterday and 4 only represents a cycle not a comparison of the past. In reality the past is gone, but the awareness and freedom left behind in my heart is my locksmith.